I usually find that the single most detestable thing I encounter on any given day is the sight of a Hummer going down the road, almost always with one driver and no passengers. As far as I'm concerned, the Hummer is a symbol for some of the worst aspects of our country and our species.
I had a dream one night about soliciting donations to purchase a brand new Hummer, auctioning the right to push the plunger to blow the thing to hell as spectacularly as possible for the press, and then using the proceeds to do it again.
I'm almost glad that GM is going down the tubes. I hate Hummers.
So I love this:
Untitled by Vanilla Bean
Your wallet's fat, your car is rank
Fuck you and your H2!
Each burst of speed costs half a tank
Fuck you and your H2!
At each stop sign and traffic light
Regardless if it's day or night
They'll mutter "asshole" and they're right
Fuck you and your H2!
You can't drive mud, you can't clear rocks
Fuck you and your H2!
With Chevy Tahoe frame and shocks
Fuck you and your H2!
What illness do you suffer from?
Are your aesthetic senses numb?
How does it feel to be so dumb?
Fuck you and your H2!
If I gave you what you deserve
Fuck you and your H2!
I'd cut you off and make you swerve
Fuck you and your H2!
I'd follow you across the land
I'd top your gas tank off with sand
And flip the bird with my free hand
Fuck you and your H2!
It's true you are the Tax-break winner
Fuck you and your H2!
You spent it on 'roo-bars and Spinners
Fuck you and your H2!
Full fifty-grand you can omit,
But what remains to show for it?
A four-point-three-ton pile of shit.
Fuck you and your H2!
Despite my venomous complaint
Fuck you and your H2!
I've got an atom of restraint
Fuck you and your H2!
I hope this point you haven't missed
Your car selection makes me pissed
In spite of that I can resist
Fuck you and your H2!
For 3 or more: the carpool lane
Fuck you and your H2!
But what if you have half a brain?
Fuck you and your H2!
You solo drive each day to work
That's why your friends all joke and smirk
Come Humm on THIS, you fucking jerk!
Fuck you and your H2!
That's great! So is the poster.
Then there's this opposite but funny opinion written three years or so ago (but new to me) by "paleolibertarian" Karen De Coster. Karen's picture shows a great smile! I wonder if she still sports it? She apparently didn't see the signs when she wrote the piece, but a great deal has happened since then. If she's still smiling she might consider the topic of denial.
Hat tip on FUH2 and De Coster's piece to commenters at The Oil Drum.
2 comments:
You are in the meme wars. Your memes are puny and spiteful, no match for a mighty Humvee, which by the way is very cool. Would you refuse to ride in one?
I agree with you completely, but it does no good to stare balefully through the tinted glass at the unenlighted acolyte of conspicuous consumption nestled within. You are not bumping elbows with this person. You are even reluctant to engage this individual. You don't go to the same coffee shop. We are shiites and they are sunnis. The political hemispheres are not connected, and that's a bigger problem than the H2.
Would I refuse to ride in one? I don't think I'm that principled.
The political hemispheres are not only not connected, the gap seems to be widening. I don't think there's anything that can be done about it absent some clear and present existential threat.
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